March 5, 2012- Last Email!!

Hello!

Well this, I'm assuming, will be the last e-mail I send to you as a missionary!  This last week I feel like I learned a TON. I'm glad I got some more learning under my belt just before I left. I figured out how this companionship helped me learn important lessons. I did a study one day about the difference between botteling things up in an unhealthy way, and "turning the other cheek" as Christ would. I didn't really understand the difference, so I didn't understand why I was getting so weighed down by not responding negatively to things. Basically I figured out that a forgiving mouth is botteling things up, and a forgiving heart is turning the other cheek. I think that's what I lacked. I would very easily and imediately say to others, and even to myself, that I forgive them, but the feeling didn't pass through my heart first. That's what I need to learn to do. Also, I never realized how prideful I was. It was always dormant and waaaay deep down in my heart that it didn't necesarily show on the surface (or maybe it did and I just didn't realize it). These last 2 cambios brought it to the surface, which I guess is good because I can recognize it and do something about it. So, I'm pretty content with all of these last minute lessons. I also realized that all of the faults and insecurities I have about things I've done fall under the category of pride, just that one thing, which made me feel better because I feel like as a missionary I'm allowed to have 1 or 2 flaws (but no more than 2 haha!) Things have been really good with us yesterday and today, I feel like maybe there's a big lift of stress or something.

  

I'm glad to know that the Lord is so powerful. It is a relief to know that He will bring about His work (whether through me or in spite of me haha). Cristian said that he would ABSOLUTELY come to church this Sunday because we gave him a cookbook that we made for him with the members, and when he saw how they all knew him and cared about him, he said he would have to come. We passed by 5 times on Saturday to verify and remind him and finally found him right before 9:30. His electricity got cut, but he said his neighbor would charge his phone so we could call him in the morning to wake him up before we passed by. I was fasting that he would come and feel the Spirit. We were so hopeful. When we passed by, the scary dog that lives in the apartment right under him that bit me last time was trapped in his pen and couldn't get to us, everything seemed to be going SO perfectly... and then we got to his door and knocked and his cousin came to the door and told us that he had left right after and never came home Saturday night. I was really bummed, but I KNOW that the Lord will continue giving him chances. Maybe I won't see the fruits of our labor now, but someday, someone's efforts will bring these people to live the truth. I'll be just as happy when I see them in paradise as if it had been for my efforts. I plan on continuing to be a missionary in my own way for the rest of forever. I'm sad to leave Chile. I've grown to love the people here so much, but I'm excited for the future and the good things I will try to do with it.

  

Thanks for everything! I'm excited to see you soon!

Love,

Hermana Gebara

February 27, 2012, Radimadi

Hello!

I hope all is going well for you. We're just pushing along here as usual. We have a lot of investigators, but we're having a hard time getting them to progress. I was a little worried that we were on the line of basically obligating them this week for how much we tried to animate them and verify them in keeping their compromisos, but it doesn't seem like anyone is resentful, they're just not doing it... Manuel came to church this week! That was a really cool suprise. We invited him earlier in the week, but we've only taught him once in his doorway so we didn't think much of it, but he came, on his own, in the rain! It was awesome. He stayed all 3 hours and made friends with German. We're going to teach him tomorrow. I'm grateful that I am continuing to learn and that it seems that all I'm going through and reading in the scriptures has to do with what's going on with our investigators. I've been reading in Alma 18-22 ish lately and I just keep hoping that some sort of similar miracle will happen with Cristian and if he'll just take the first step and pray he'll just be so overcome with faith in the Savior that he'll be willing to make the big changes. We're not giving up! It seems as if my own struggles and what I learn from them are things that I'm able to use in knowing how to help him. That has happened so many times in the mission, I love how the Lord helps me FEEL what my investigators feel so that I can really have empathy for them. I really continue to learn so much and remember all of the things that I have learned and the ways that I've grown in this last year and a half.

Nearly every time I open my scriptures, or even a Liahona, I am directed to some scripture or article that talks about planting seeds and seeing the harvest at a later time. I am willing to accept that perhaps the Lord trusted that I wouldn't be so caught up in pride about the numbers that He called me to be a planter. That's ok, right? I don't want to give myself excuses for lack of success if it's my own fault, but something I read in a Liahona helped me remember that there are many ways that we can get answers from the Lord, not just the physical manifestations of the Spirit, so with everything I've been reading lately, I feel like that's my answer. I also feel like maybe it hasn't come yet because I haven't actually completed my mission, I still have a week left to be guided by the Lord, maybe the feeling will come the day I'm asked to take off the tag.

Anyway, we're just working away as usual. I love this mission!

Love,

Hermana Gebara

February 20, 2012

This week has passed by in a blur. There were some great things and some really hard things, but in the end it all worked out and we're doing alright. We're still struggling with getting our investigators to really progress, but at least I finally fully understand how Alma felt when he talked about how his soul was heavy and sorrowful unto pain for how much he wanted the people to repent and have faith in Christ. I'm right there with him sometimes, but all in all I'm able to maintain positivity. I have a new little dicho that I thought of they other day: "Perhaps today isn't the day that we're going to see the miracles, but that just means it's all the more likely that it'll be tomorrow." I don't remember if I already told you that or not. 

That reminds me of another quote that I saw and just loved the other day. It's on the DVD of the life of President Monson. He said something to the effect of: "There is no sweeter feeling than following a prompting of the Holy Ghost and finding out later that you were an instrument in the Lord's hands in answering someone's prayer. I want to live my life in such a way that the Lord knowsthat if He ever needs an errand run, Tom Monson (or Jamie Gebara) will run it for Him." I love that!

This week we had a special "Hermana Training Meeting" at the mission home. That's a fancy way to say giant sleep over with the sisters. It was super fun and I really liked being able to see Hermana Moss and Hermana Nakayama again as well as a lot of other sisters who I just adore. We made pancakes in the morning, I hadn't had pancakes in so long! Hermana Moss has the pictures, so we'll have to get copies from her.

Well that's really all the news there is for now. I'm trying to think of what souvenirs you all will want, but I'm really bad at picking those kinds of things, so if you have anything you'd like, please let me know!

Well I always send these out and then think of more things I could have said, so I'm trying to delay sending it, but there's just really not that much to report for now. Hermana Bertagnole is engaged, she wrote me today and told me. Other than that just working till the end and trying to be as prepared as possible for school without stressing about the fact that I can't really do anything about it. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I'll be sad to leave the wonderful people that I love here, but I'm excited to see you again as well as all of my missionary friends.

See you soon!

Love,

Jamie

February 13, 2012

Hello!

We're on a bit of a time crunch because I still have to send in my slide show pictures to the office, so this will probably be a very short e-mail, but we saw miracles this week as usual! It was rough because a lot of people were gone, members and investigators alike, but we found Margarita again and she isn't completely closed to meeting with us more! Also, Cristian FINALLY had some time to meet with us and once we got to talking he completely opened up and we found out about his family and about his childhood traumas and why he does all the things he does now. We're finally making some headway in how to help him! We also found out that two of the girls in our branch know him so that'll be a good support for him. We found a really awesome investigator named Franco, but when we went back for our 2nd cita he told us he didn't really want to share with us, he just thought it would be interesting to see what we had to say the first time. It was like a half miracle. We have a lot of other great people that we're working with. José, Alberto y Ester, Omar... they just aren't coming to church! We're sticking with it and trying all we can. There's not really a lot of new stuff to report, we're just working away!

Let me know if there's anything you'd like me to bring home from Chile. I've got 3 more weeks!

Love,

Jamie

February 6, 2012

We saw some cool miracles this week. There's a less active kid, Diego, who hasn't been coming to church for the last 7 years or so because he decided to take a trip through proverbial Babylon. We always went by to invite him to activities and stuff, and he was always very polite, but never really wanted to participate. Anyway, we were near his house the other day and heard blaring loud music, so we knew he was home. We went by to invite him to church and he let us come in and share something with him. We read Alma 36 and asked him if he wanted to make that kind of change. He said that he had been thinking about it a lot lately. He said that he had been changing a lot decided that he was at the point of deciding whether or not he was going to come back or just turn away forever. We challenged him to give it a lot of thought and prayer and to come to church on Sunday. He said he would. He talked about how in spite of everything, he knows the church is true and that Heavenly Father loves him because of so many times when he has felt the Holy Ghost warn him of danger or protect him from something even when he knew that he didn't deserve that help. I think it was the first time (if not, one of very few) that I cried in a lesson. He came to church yesterday, and we called him in the afternoon to thank him for coming and he said: "Creo que nos vamos a seguir viendo..." which basically means: "I think you'll keep seeing me there..." I am so amazed at the miracles that are happening all around us everyday.

Anyway, that's kindof the big news for this week. I just keep looking for the good. Thanks for all your support and help.

January 23, 2012

Hello!

Well first things first, I have learned so much about miracles this week. It was a tough one, things kept getting worse in the work, it seemed as if everyone hated and rejected us, and it was just a rough start. However, even in that rough time I learned a lot about the love that Christ has for us. I looked at the people who were making fun of us or rejecting us or lying withpain not because of my own pride, but because I just wish they would let me help them! I just love them so much! That's one of the hard parts for me, feeling so much love for the people of Chile and seeing the weakness of the church in a lot of places here, it just makes me want to do all that I can to strengthen it, but many times I feel like my efforts have been in vain, I just keep trying to tell myself that the Lord has a plan and that it's not important that I see the fruits right now, it's just important that I do what He called me here to do and it'll all work out.

So in the challenges we were facing I decided that it was a perfect opportunity to exercise real faith, patience and diligence. The miracle comes AFTER the trial of faith, we just have to keep pushing and believe that the miracle will come. Joseph Smith had to fight off the adversary right before the first vision. I have always thought that greater opposition means a greater miracle awaits....

AND THEN IT HAPPENED!

I had been praying for some way that the people would be humbled, some situation in which we could show people that we would be there for them no matter what to help them out, that we really do love and care about them, that we're not just trying to get in their door to try to convince them to join our church. Yesterday, despite the fact that every day this cambio has been super hot, THERE WAS A HAIL STORM! I felt like Nephi! It was so awesome! We happened to be by the apartments so we hurried over to Cristian's house. It turns out he had just run home and we were able to find out that he's not avoiding us, he's just been busy, but he wants us to come by to teach him today. I love faith!

We still haven't seen Margarita. She says we can call her at a certain time to see if she's home, but when we call she hangs up. I'm not really sure what to do with that, but we'll keep on trying. We've found a few other really cool people who we're continuing to work with, but a lot of people just do NOT want to meet with us.

I'm trying to just show as much love as possible to everyone. I'm trying to be "a light (in) the world." I remember reading from a talk in general conference that showing love is the most important thing that a missionary can do. My only worry is that I'm showing too much love and trying to gain too much confidence that people might be seeing us as just friends. 

Anyway, that's all for today, see you in 6 weeks!

Love,

Hermana Gebara

January 16, 2012

NOTE: Jamie's letter got cut off because she had to change libraries halfway through writing. This is the half that we got.

a copy of what I sent to President! -

Review: We are having so many challenges with the miracles we found last week, but I'm not giving up hope!

Ok, we found another spot, so where were we? Oh right. Margarita. So she fasted with us and I felt like an awesome instrument in the Lord's hands for being inspired to help her use a challenge to teach a principle of faith, but we've called her every day since then and her son is in the hospital and when she's not there with him she's working and she said that she's probably going to have to keep up the same schedule even when her son gets out of the hospital. We went by to see if there was anything we could do for her and her landlady came out and told us she never wanted us on her property again. We offered to have someone from the church give her son a blessing, but she didn't answer any of our calls yesterday. We are just having a lot of challenges!

Even with Cristian things have taken a small turn for the worse. I know that they really need to feel the Spirit, so I fasted again to know what they needed and to have as much of the Spirit as possible for our lesson. We even coordinated to have our branch mission leader and his family come with us, and then he didn't even let us in because he said he had to leave! I fasted twice this week! Nelson and Yenifer finally said they would consider coming to church and that he was going to read the Book of Mormon, but then his dad got in a car accident and they couldn't. That's the bad news part.

The good news part is that I have a loving Heavenly Father who guided me to Doctrine and Covenants 35. The part where the Lord talks about how he prepares his servants for great things and that often they are preparing his way without knowing it has been a huge comfort for me. Perhaps I won't see any baptisms, but I'm going to keep trusting that my service in this year and a half has been preparing the way of the Lord. I also read in Alma 24 when it talks about the strength of the faith of the anti-nefi-lehi's. Perhaps it's going to be more of a challenge for these people to be converted, but the important thing is the strength of that conversion when it happens. I would way rather prepare the way of the Lord in truly converting them than see the baptism now and find out later that they went inactive.

Other than a bit of insomnia in thinking about our investigators, I've been doing alright. It's a good thing, though. This is what being a missionary is all about. I love that I'm so attached to these people that I worry about them so much, I love them! That's the most important part about being a missionary, right?

We have been finding a ton of new people, which I'm happy about.

The good thing about these challenges is that I've had the opportunity to feel a closeness and support from my Heavenly Father in a way I had never felt before. I feel so supported by Him! Again, I know I am SOOO far from perfect, and I know He knows that too, but I feel so grateful that He lets me know that He's in my corner anyway!

Anyway, thanks for all you do, I feel like I'm on a spiritual high and I really just don't want it to come crashing down so I'm trying my best to stay positive.

December 9, 2011

Hello!

This has been a long but AMAZING week, probably one of the best of my whole mission. Let me just start by talking about a few of the MIRACLES that I saw. The first is Margarita. We had set up a cita with her and her boyfriend in a contact, but when we went by they weren't there. The next day, I had the distinct impression that we should go by and visit them, so we did. She was there and as we got to talking she told us that she had always wanted to meet with missionaries, that she had talked to them in the street but that they had never offered to come by and she was too embarassed to ask them to come! She has a good friend that was recently baptized and is really grateful and excited to be learning about the Gospel. It was like the PME video about "How to Begin Teaching" with German, it was just so unbelievable. We invited her to be baptized right then and she was so excited to be able to prepare to be baptized on the 28th! We also had the great privlidge of literally seeing the moment that the Holy Ghost testified to her that the Book of Mormon was true. We were reading the last 2 paragraphs of the introduction, and when she read "We invite all men... to read the Book of Mormon..." she got choked up and said: "This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read, I feel something in my heart just like my friend described to me, but I never thought I'd get to feel it too." Her prayers are so sincere and we are just so excited! She has a lot of challenges. She'll have to get married and her boyfriend is hesitant to change because of what his family and friends will say, but he supports her completely, it is also hard working around her work schedule, but she lives right in front of the church and says that she is excited to come this Sunday because she won't be working! I am so grateful that the Lord gave me the privlige of seeing this miracle, and equally grateful for the fact that He trusted me enough to give me the impression to go visit her because He knew I would listen!

We also found Cristian and Nicolas this week. We contacted Cristian near his apartment and shared a scripture about joy in 2 Nefi 2:25. The impression then came to me that I should give him the book, even though it was my last one, but I did and I told him: "This is a treasure, I want you to have it." He seemed taken aback but grateful. We went by on Sunday and he was there with a few friends, we got to teach them the Plan of Salvation and it was SO COOL! The Spirit testified so much. It's clear that they are living the lifestyle of typical jovenes, but they were so respectful and attentive and I could see that they really felt the Spirit. Nicolas prayed at the end that we would continue to teach them how to come closer to God. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I keep thinking about how excited I am for them to be future missionaries and priesthood holders! I always get my hopes up so high, but that's a good think, I think.

I've learned so much this week. At the beginning of the week I was feeling really down because this is a really tough companionship for me, and it has made me realize the gap that there is between refraining from saying the negative and choosing not to respond when someone offends you and actually loving someone the way that Christ loves them. I have gotten pretty good at the first part, but I'm still working on the second. It's good because I have needed to turn so much more to prayer this cambio, and I feel the blessings of the greater fervency of my prayers. I gained a new appreciation for the Atonement and that even when I'm afraid that I've messed up on my mission, I know I haven't done anything unforgivable and that Christ always provides a ladder for us to be ok again. It was a nice reminder.

I realized that if there's one thing I've done right on my mission, it is that I've allowed it to change me. Just like it talks about in "The 4th Missionary" there is a difference between obedience for minimums and obligation, and obedience for love and discipleship, I know that my obedience is motivated by the latter, and that's at least one of the successes that the mission has brought me.

This is getting really long, so I'll wrap it up now, but thanks for being great and doing all that you do!

Love,

Hermana Gebara